Napoleon Bonaparte once said, “History
is a myth that men agree to believe.” So, is history just a bunch
of lies we all agree upon, or, is there an objective reality? I think
there's an objective reality. Something either did, or did not,
happen. http://www.unitednativeamerica.com/issues/lincoln.html
https://vimeo.com/112514732
“This is what the Lord Almighty
says... ‘Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all
that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child
and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’” ~1 Samuel 15:3
William Bradford, the Governor of the
Plimouth Colony, which after 30 years, eventually failed, started out
as an orphan boy from Yorkshire.
Bradford was a Brownist separatist, not
a Puritan. Bradford and company suffered religious persecution in
England because their church taught that they should annoy the hell
out of their neighbors. William Bradford was a over religious zealot
who thought that only his interpretation of the Bible was right, and
fuck everybody else. The non-Puritan Bradford was anti-Catholic; he
hated the Pope, and Bishops, and Priests, and even churches
themselves. For Bradford, all one needed to be a good Christian, was
a group of people who worshiped together, in the name of Jesus, and
that was it. For William Bradford, wherever folks met in the name of
God and Jesus Christ, that's all that mattered.
William Bradford and Company then
sneaked away to Amsterdam, where they were able to freely practice
their religion as they so chose, but while in the Netherlands,
Bradford and company discovered that the Netherlands contained Dutch
people, and then they set sail for Massachusetts. While Bradford
moved away from England and could freely worship as he chose, he
didn't like the liberal Dutch culture, he was losing control over his
children, so he had to figure out a way to get to America. Bradford
were very proud of their English heritage, even though England at the
time was being run by a bunch of corrupt fornicators and merrimakers.
They came to America because they wanted a more conservative English
culture.
The Pilgrims did not want religious
freedom. They just didn't like how liberal the Netherlands were, and
they wanted to control their children's lives as helicopter parents.
Of the 102 original Pilgrims on board
the Mayflower, 40 of them called themselves “Saints”, religious
zealots, while the other 60 or so, the majority, were adventurers or
speculators or servants, which the “Saints” called “Strangers”.
There were a total of 70 women and men, 30 children, a bunch of
chickens, and a dog. It took them 65 days to cross the stormy
Atlantic in a space the size of a city bus.
William Bradford and the Mayflower
landed at what is now Provincetown harbor, Mass., in November 1620. 2
of the Pilgrims died in the boat ride over, and 1 baby was born.
Also, Bradford and all of the pilgrims were illegal aliens. They
didn't have a VISA to get into this country. They didn't go through
Customs. They weren't vetted like the Syrian Refugees are going to be
vetted. The Pilgrims didn't assimilate into the New World culture.
They didn't learn to speak Algonquin, or Iroquois, or Yuchi. They
didn't learn the natives' language, culture, and ways, nor did they
adapt and assimilate into the native American culture, like the lost
colony of Roanoke did.
The Mayflower didn't land on Plymouth
Rock; the Plymouth Rock myth landed on us, as kids, when our public
school teachers fed us that bullshit. The Plymouth Rock myth was just
a public relations stunt created by locals to increase tourism. So
the Mayflower didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Like what Mark Twain
said, a lie, especially a really good lie, can encircle the globe
before the truth even has a chance to put its pants on.
More myths about the Pilgrims: they all
didn't just wear all black, nor did they wear those goofy look'n
buckles, the weird shoes, or black steeple hats.
In 1605 a British expedition led by
Captain George Weymouth had landed on this particular coastline. When
they left in 1614 they took 24 Natives as slaves and left smallpox,
syphilis, and gonorrhea in their wake. One of the Natives taken back
to Europe was named Tisquantum, which means “Divine Rage”, but
was called Squanto by the white man. Pocahontas saved John Smith in
order to free John Smith up to enslave all the Patuxet and the
Nausett natives he could capture. Some say John Smith is the one who
kidnapped Squanto. Maybe Squanto was captured and enslaved twice.
Nobody really knows.
The Pilgrims settled in an area that
was once Patuxet, a Wampanoag village, nad the Pawtuxet had been
destroyed by the Weymouth expedition. The Patuxets were Wampanoags,
and the Wampanoags were also called the Pokanoket.
Before 1616, the Wampanoag numbered
50,000 to 100,000, occupying 69 villages scattered throughout
southeastern Massachusetts and eastern Rhode Island. Disease, murder,
slavery wiped out nearly 2/3 of the Pokanoket/Wampanoag.
When John Carver, William Bradford, and
the rest of the Pilgrims landed on Squanto's family's ancestral
homeland, Patuxet, and what John Smith called New Plymouth. They
didn't see anybody, which they took as God's message to them to
settle this land. While they didn't see any natives on Squanto's
family's ancestral homeland of Patuxet, they did find a bunch of
graves.
So, naturally, they robbed the graves
they found.
A colonists said: “The next morning
we found a place like a grave. We decided to dig it up. We found
first a mat, and under that a fine bow… We also found bowls, trays,
dishes, and things like that. We took several of the prettiest things
to carry away with us, and covered the body up again.”
The Puritans survived by stealing the
food stores of neighboring Native Summer Villages as well as eating
corn that was still growing wild from abandoned cornfields near the
ruined village.
Following that came a cruel New England
winter for which they were ill prepared. The Pilgrims faced rampant
disease, starvation and death at the Plymouth colony, and to ward off
attacks by the natives they would drag the dead and prop them up with
their muskets so they would appear to be sentries.
More than half of the 102 passengers of
the Mayflower died in the first three months, wiping out five whole
families, and leaving no family intact and not grieving.
William Bradford’s first wife was
said to have either fallen overboard and drowned, or she may have
committed suicide out of despair.
The Plimouth Plantation were a London
based corporation; a company set up to make some rich paymasters some
money, none of which risked the journey to America. Since many of the
Pilgrims came to find riches, they weren't suitable to survive in the
winter months. They came looking for gold. They were incompetent.
They didn't know how to raise crops, how to hunt, or how to survive.
Over half of the first 100 Pilgrims
died the first year in America. Wait... not the first year, but in
the first three months! William Bradford, being a strict Protestant,
didn't celebrate Xmas the first or second year.
On December 25, 1621, Governor William
Bradford led a work detail into the forest and discovered some
recent arrivals among the crew had scruples about working on the day.
Bradford noted in his history of the colony, Of Plymouth
Plantation:
"On the day called Christmas Day,
the Governor called [the settlers] out to work as was usual. However,
the most of this new company excused themselves and said it went
against their consciences to work on that day. So the Governor told
them that if they made it [a] matter of conscience, he would spare
them till they were better informed; so he led away the rest and left
them."
When
the Governor and his crew returned home at noon they discovered those
left behind playing stool-ball, pitching the bar, and pursuing other
sports.[4] Bradford confiscated their implements, reprimanded
them, forbade any further reveling in the streets, and told them
their devotion for the day should be confined to their homes.
Massachusetts and Connecticut followed the Plymouth
colony in refusing to condone any observance of the day.[1] When
the Puritans came to power in England following the execution of
King Charles I, Parliament enacted a law in 1647
abolishing the observance of Christmas, Easter,
and Whitsuntide.[1][4] The Puritans of New England then
passed a series of laws making any observance of Christmas
illegal,[6] thus banning Christmas celebrations for part of the
17th century. A Massachusetts law of 1659 punished offenders with a
hefty five shilling fine.
Hell, … it may have been Christmas
that actually pushed Bradford and the Pilgrims to leave the
Netherlands.
If I had been living in Plimouth in the
1620s, and William Bradford, who just watched over half of his people
die the very first year, I'm pretty sure I'd tell Bradford to go fuck
himself about celebrating anything. In fact, when half the people
die, that's a failure of a colony. And Plymouth Colony, overall, was
a total and complete failure, because after 30 years, they abandoned
it, and joined the Massachusetts Bay Colony.
xxx
There's been only two sources that the
story of Thanksgiving even comes from.
William Bradford’s journal titled “Of
Plymouth Plantation” and
Edward Winslow's “Mourt’s
Relations”
Here's William Bradford's 115 words in
five sentences about the occasion.
“They began now to gather in the
small harvest they had, and to fit up their houses and dwellings
against winter, being all well recovered in health and strength and
had all things in good plenty. For as some were thus employed in
affairs abroad, others were exercised in fishing, about cod and
bass and other fish, of which they took good store, of which
every family had their portion. All the summer there was no want;
and now began to come in store of fowl, as winter approached,
of which this place did abound when they came first (but afterward
decreased by degrees). And besides waterfowl there was great
store of wild turkeys, of which they took many, besides
venison, etc. Besides, they had about a peck of meal a week to
a person, or now since harvest, Indian corn to that proportion. Which
made many afterwards write so largely of their plenty here to their
friends in England, which were not feigned but true reports.”
The food items William Bradford
mentioned are:
Cod
Bass
wild turkies
foul (birds, cardinals, owls, eagles)
and water foul (such as ducks, geese)
Venison (deer meat)
Indian corn
In Bradford's narrative, he doesn't
even mention of a huge feast with native Americans. He just said that
1621 was a better year than 1620, and that during the Summer, there
was no want of food, so he was improving and getting better. He
mentioned the “fall harvest”, but nothing about Chief Massasoit,
or 90 native Americans, or a huge feast, or a day of Thanksgiving, or
an announcement of a public holiday, or anything. William Bradford
only mentioned the general lavish hunting and gathering season of
1621, and that's it. So really, we only have one account of the first
supposed Thanksgiving, just Edward Winslow's account.
Here's Edward Winslow's narrative of
Thanksgiving:
“Our corn did prove well, and God be
praised, we had a good increase of Indian corn, and our barley
indifferent good, but our peas not worth the gathering, for we feared
they were too late sown, they came up very well, and blossomed, but
the sun parched them in the blossom; Our harvest being gotten in, our
governor sent four men on fowling, that so we might after a special
manner rejoice together, after we had gathered the fruits of our
labors; they four in one day killed as much fowl, as with a little
help beside, served the Company almost a week, at which time amongst
other Recreations, we exercised our Arms, many of the Indians
coming amongst us, and amongst the rest their greatest king
Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained
and feasted, and they went out and killed five Deer, which they
brought to the Plantation and bestowed on our Governor, and upon the
Captain and others. And although it be not always so plentiful, as it
was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far
from want, that we often wish you partakers of our plenty.”
Edward Winslow only mentions Indian
corn, and barley, “foul” and “deer”, and peas that weren't
even harvested, and that's it.
Foul could be any bird. When Bradford
mentions foul, he also mentions wild turkies, which means that he
meant some other bird, not wild turkies.
So we can only be sure that 1 item was
served at that so-called first thanksgiving. White tailed deer,
because it's the only food item Edward Winslow mentions for the 3 day
harvest/day of peace celebration.
Edward Winslow actually mentions the 3
day event specifically. Edward Winslow also mentions the
Wampanoag/Pokanoket King Massasoit, whereas Bradford did not.
Without Massasoit, there is no unity
dinner.
Side note: the name “Massasoit” is
actually the title of Great King; Massasoit's actual name was:
Ou-sa-me-quin
Ousamequin X4... like Beetlejuice, if
you say Ousamequin 3 times, he appears, which is why I said it 4
times. 4 times cancels it.
The Pokanoket/Wampanoag outright
refused to convert and become Christians.
Edward Winslow also doesn't mention why
Massasoit came, what his purpose was, or if he was even invited. I've
read a ton about this, and I know that Massasoit agreed to be
political and military allies with William Bradford and the pilgrims,
against other native American tribes. Also, Massasoit gave Myles
Standish permission to live on the Patuxet lands, where they were
living at the time, but was under the domain of the
Wampanoag/Pokanoket natives. (Patuxet were also
Wampanoag/Pokanoket... the last of the Patuxet? Squanto.) So the
point of the meeting could be to solidify their friendship, their
political and military alliance, and the land deal.
Also, I noticed that Edward Winslow
talked about “recreations”, and shooting off guns, and maybe even
cannons, before he mentioned that the native Americans came. Here it
is again:
“at which time amongst other
Recreations, we exercised our Arms, many of the Indians coming
amongst us, and amongst the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with
some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and
they went out and killed five Deer, which they brought to the
Plantation...”
My take, is that the Pilgrims were
having a fall harvest celebration, and they started to shoot their
guns and cannons, and the Wampanoag think'n some shenanigans were
afoot, came to see what's up, to see what's good, and to check out
the situation. The Wampanoag/Pokanoket came, with their entire tribe,
all 90 of them, locked and loaded, ready to fight. That's how
Massasoit Ou-sa-me-quin rolls. The Pilgrims, numbering 52 at the
time, seeing a superior military force twice their size, acted real
nice, and invited the possible invaders in for dinner...
But that's speculation. It's all
speculation. There's no specific mention of any purpose for the
visit. He wasn't invited. And when Massasoit came, the
Wampanoag/Pokanoket then had to go and get more food, the 5 white
tailed deer, so clearly the Pilgrims didn't have enough food, and
therefore, they weren't ready for them.
At this celebration, a peace and
friendship agreement was made between the Wampanoag/Pokanoket sachem
Massasoit and Miles Standish giving the Pilgrims the clearing in the
forest where the old Patuxet village had been to build their new town
of Plymouth, that being the main, and only, purpose for the 3 day
event of entertaining and feasting.
And an encounter of this sort never
happened again, history says. There were no prayers and there was no
“giving thanks” at this time of supposed happy harvest.
The only food item we know for certain
that was served were the 5 white tailed deer. We also know that
Edward Winslow doesn't mention a prayer, or a day of thanksgiving, or
a declaration of thanksgiving, or anything like that. Really, it
couldn't have been a Thanksgiving, a Christian holiday of fasting and
prayer, since there was dancing, singing, pagan heathen
non-christians, and merrimaking, all frowned upon by prudish
fundamentalist zealots. Also, being Christians, why not mention that
it was a day of Thanksgiving, of fasting and prayer? That's because
it wasn't a day of Thanksgiving, at all.
AT the very least, it was just a fall
festival, of Pilgrims celebrating their cornucopia of food, when the
Pokanoket/Wampanoag came and crashed their little party. At the most,
it could have been a possible military battle that the Pilgrims
eventually smoothed over, but most likely, this 3 day festival of
entertainment and feasting was the very meeting that united the
Pokanoket/Wampanoag and the Pilgrims in a political and military
alliance against the other native Americans around Squanto's Patuxet
lands.
xxx
So, all the extra fluff surrounding
Thanksgiving was just made up in later years, most likely by Sarah
Josepha Hale, who lobbied President Lincoln to declare Thanksgiving a
holiday in 1863, in the middle of the Civil War, in order to get the
North and South feeling a common sense of American unity.
Bradford mentioned the different food
items they had collected throughout the year, such as:
Cod
Bass
wild turkies
foul (bluebirds, cardinals, owls, bald
eagles)
and water foul (such as ducks, geese)
Venison (deer meat)
Indian corn
waterfoul is most like geese or duck.
Foul could be any birds, cardinal owls
eagles, and maybe even the now-extinct passenger pigeon.
The pilgrims didn't have any ovens, nor
did they have any forks or table knives.
There wasn't any sweet potatoes, or
regular potatoes, or HoneyBaked hams. And since there was no flour or
butter for pies, that means there was no pumpkin pies, nor was there
any cranberry sauce, nor corn on the cob, since Indian corn was used
to make hominy. There wasn't any apples, or pears.
They may have had native pumpkins, not
a pie, but just pumpkins, and they may also have eaten eels and
shellfish, such as lobster, clams and mussels. They could also have
had succotash, Indian corn, eel, Cod, bass...
The mythical so-called “first
Thanksgiving dinner” wasn't ever repeated, so it wasn't a
tradition, nor was it intended to be.
How Massasoit saved William Bradford's
ass, William Bradlford should have sucked Massasoit's dick, and been
his cabana buttboy for years, just for helping him survive after that
first horrid year. But really, Massasoit shouldn't have had any pity
for Bradford, just like these goddamned Republicans don't have any
empathy for the Syrian refugees, just like they didn't a shit about
the Guatamalan kids who needed refuge ... did yall see that Greece
Coast Guard trying to puncture a hole in that Syrian floating device
with that large sharp pole?
Then the Turkish coast guard saved
them.
After the rigorous screening process
that the Syrians would have to go through in order to get into this
country, it's virtually impossible for any of the terrorists to get
here. But perhaps, the reason why these racist Republican teabaggers
are skeptical of the Syrian refugees, is because they know, deep down
inside, that's how they are, that's who they are, secret Trojan horse
terrorists, who came to a land that wasn't theirs, with the intention
of taking it all over away from the natives.
In 1623 a day of fasting and prayer
during a period of drought was changed to one of thanksgiving because
the rain came during the prayers.
Wessagussett Indians; horrific spasm of
bloodshed in March 1623 in the killing by Miles Standish and seven
other colonists of seven Massachusetts Sachems and the decapitation
of the leader, Wittawamut.
We dwell on Thanksgiving, which didn't
really happen the way we think it did, but fail to register the
decapitated head of the Massachusetts leader, Wituwamut, that was
placed over the meeting house at Plymouth Plantation in 1623, to be a
"Terror unto the countryside," as William Bradford
reported.
The English... Mystic Massacre during
the Pequot War.
tormenting surrounding tribes, burning
entire villages to the ground, while I indigenous men, women, and
children lie sleeping.
By 1676...
As more and more English settlers
arrived in the following years, this peace gradually deteriorated and
54 years later, in 1675, the English and Wampanoag were fighting each
other in King Philip's War.
Massasoit's people, the
Wampanoag/Pokanoket were all wiped out.
Metacomet's head was put on a pike just
like Wituwamat's head was.
[Happy Gangsthieving Day everybody!]
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